Monday Night - 8:43 p.m.
I barfed on Easter. Why? Why do we ever barf? Body no interested in what we put there so it sends it back. Kinda like the over baked Camembert I should have sent back at Easter brunch. Let me go back a bit�I went out for brunch with the gay branch of the family tree�my sister and her partner and my brother and his partner. I mean really who else can claim an all gay Easter that involved vomit�I think it's safe to say I stand alone on this one. Anyways I get to Cynthia�s and am greeted by Cynthia calling me JLO (because of my shades) and Carla shouting, and I mean shouting, �He is Risen�! HA!
We had brunch at The Sample Room over North East�I wish I had read the review I linked before ordering the Poultry Sausage, and maybe I should have stayed away from the Baked Camembert with Caramelized Onions and in retrospect the Roasted Vegetables were a real mistake. The two Bloody Mary�s on the other hand were a good call�The Camembert had been baked long before it came out and was almost unrecognizable�Cynthia asked me �what is that?��The Poultry Brat had big black stuff in it�spices? I don�t know really. And then there were the Roasted Vegetables. Roasted my ass. They were soaked in oil and then cooked into mush. Whatever�I ordered the second Bloody Mary and started eating. Todd and Lee told funny stories of their recent trip to Berlin and Carla told even funnier stories of her food pushing Italian mother.
I went to work and proceeded to eat chocolate, pie, ham, cheesy broccoli rice casserole, etc. All stuff I hadn�t eaten in a while much less all in the same day within a few hours. The rest of the evening passed fairly uneventfully except for Trip and T'Pol gettin' it on! Alright! But then at about 9:15 pm I was sitting on the couch with Andy and looked at Lisa and said, �I think I�m gonna barf.� It just came over me all of a sudden�I managed to brush and floss Andy�s teeth and get him to bed before once again announcing �I think I�m gonna barf�. I don't really know what someone is supposed to say to that. But, as only true friends would do, both Lisa and Dave said I could stay there and barf. How sweet is that. Thanks but no thanks�if I�m barfin� I want to be at my own home barfing. I�m just sayin�! Dave suggested taking a bucket but I just bolted out the door trying to use mind over matter...telling myself I was fine...It was all in my head...all the while rolling down the window praying that I wouldn't hurl before getting home.
I made it home and barfed in the kitchen sink. Which was a big mistake because I then had to clean it out. It gave me a chance to assess what caused the barfing. Let�s just say I won�t be roasting vegetables anytime soon. Asparagus is no longer my favorite vegetable. Here's the part I don't get...I swear I chewed the vegetables. Christ I know I did. I think I would have remembered if I put them in my mouth whole and choked them down. I am sure the heimlich would have been involved otherwise. Does the stomach have the ability to reconstitute food? Total mystery that I wasn't able to ponder for long because then came the d-ah-ree. Two hours that were capped off with another round of barfing. Chocolate and ham. Now that�s Easter.
And then there was Sassy. She was being so sweet and trying to comfort me. Or so I thought�it turns out she was really just interested in my barf breath. That wasn�t so sweet so I pulled the covers over my head and woke up 7 hours later feelin' fine.
I choked down some peanut butter toast (mostly so I could take some Advil for my killer post puking headache) and headed off to have my taxes done! That�s right I managed to get my taxes done this year with 3 days to spare!
